Hello everyone:
Have you ever gotten stuck, really stuck in a rain storm and not known how to use your car’s windshield wipers? Maybe you’ve borrowed a friend or family member’s car. Perhaps you have rented a car to take you to that first big job interview.
And then it begins to rain. Folks, that’s not the time to search for the location of the wipers. It’s also not the best time to figure out how to turn them on (every car is different, or so it seems).
I was on a trip to Florida, which is known for torrential rainstorms, when suddenly it began to pour. I was about an hour and a half from my condo when the storm struck and it was as if someone was standing by the side of the road, pouring water on my car.
It was dark, which didn’t help matters one iota. The streetlights were few and far between which made things worse. And then I couldn’t figure out which way to flick the wiper switch. (It was not intuitively obvious!)
Here’s my personal recommendation: figure this out before you get on the road, especially if rain is forecast. Have you ever had this challenge? It’s not fun, trust me. Next time, perhaps I’ll talk about trying to open the gas door on an unfamiliar car, and wanting to refill your tank before you run out. Another issue: the location of the gas gauge isn’t always where you expect- you could be looking at the engine temperature light instead. (And you thought you were just getting great gas mileage!)
Have a great day and feel free to share your tales of woe.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
My great aunt never married, never had any children, and never confessed to ever having had a beau. She was something in her prime, with a pretty smile and great legs. She was a career woman before the idea was popular. She lived with her maiden sisters, who died within 12 days of each other while they were all middle aged.
As she got older, she ended up with no teeth and breast cancer stole her …well, you know. She still worked a full time job, albeit for the undertaker, at the age of 93 1/4.
She died a few years back and, though she is gone, she is still remembered, as I was reminded when I got her church newsletter last week. My great aunt absolutely loved her church family. They were the husband she never had, the children she never birthed, and the brothers and sisters she lost. she adored them and they loved her back. One of her many friends donated some money in her memory in honor of her birthday; another friend placed flowers on the altar in honor of what would have been her 102nd birthday.
What a lovely testimony to someone caring for the church like Christ did, and gave Himself for it. She knew everyone at church, their background, and all of their children’s names in order of their births and who they married. She did it, not as a gossip, but as someone who was totally devoted to others.
Do you know someone like that? It would be so great if you could send them a card or place flowers on the altar to honor them for their special day. I would love to know who that person is in your life, and to share that memory with my readers.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
While visiting in Florida, where I have cable, I binge watch home improvement shows while teaching online. Have you seen some of the ideas that home owners apparently thought would work well?
Some homeowners cemented their entire backyard. Perhaps they thought the new owners wouldn’t enjoy mowing. Maybe the owners could have gotten a “pass” on this if they had taken the time to paint it green (more grass-like but without the weeds?). The good news is that poly silk flowers were not “planted” to accent the concrete.
Another owner installed a black toilet in a white bathroom. Everything was white except for the toilet. Multiculturalism at its finest? What was he or she thinking?
Another couple had a hand-painted mermaid on their bathroom wall. The gal who painted it was not gifted artistically. When their realtor suggested painting a neutral color over it, the man hugged his weeping wife, whose handiwork it was. Oh, my.
This must be a “bathroom post” because some other owners had developed a leak in their bathtub and shower stalls so they used roofing material to coat the floors in both bathrooms. This is not recommended, either.
What should you do? If you decide to sell your home, contact your local full time real estate agent and get his or her to walk your property. Get a list of what he or she thinks would be needed to sell your home for the highest price in the quickest time frame and do it, if finances permit. I have other blog postings on this topic, so you will want to visit those postings, as well, for more information along this line.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
You know those weird sounds that you have been hearing, the ones that sound like scratching? Do you sometimes find strange brown turds on your counter tops? Have you ever found Christmas ornament boxes full of destroyed, formerly stringed ornaments? Have you ever reached into a cardboard box that you had in the shed and saw something move out of the corner of your eye?
My dear, you have mice (or, at the very least, mouse). Keep in mind that these critters are very fertile and letting one live with you can lead to your having a whole colony of mice. You need to get rid of them ASAP.
There are various ways of doing this; we have effectively used baited traps in our garage and basement. The upside is that the traps can be baited with peanut butter; the bad news is that you have to get rid of the mouse after you catch it and it may still be alive, just stuck.
When a mouse threatened the sanity of my time working in our garage a few years back, we put out a snare, only to find that the mouse survived the entrapment. When the little critter showed up for the peanut butter feast, my hubby was out of town, so I managed to get the mouse and trap into the middle of the garage, covered it with a layer of cardboard (to protect my tires), and drove back and forth over the covered mouse until there were no more signs of life underneath.
I then swept the entire contraption outside and moved the car back into the now-mouse-free space. The deceased rodent thoughtfully remained under the cardboard until my husband returned home, though it might have looked a bit odd to the neighbors.
A good friend of mine has a cat that periodically demonstrates its love by depositing half-dead mice at her feet. After she got somewhat used to this method of devotion, she said that her favorite means of removal was to pick the rodent up with a large pair of kitchen tongs and place the unfortunate animal in the toilet, for rapid flushing.
She must have a really high-quality toilet, since there is no problem with the toilet accepting the mouse for disposal. If you have a toilet that might not take such deposits, you might be better off using the tongs to toss the creature outside in order to rid your home of it.
However, if the animal does not die, you could have a problem with a mad, injured mouse returning to torment your life via the courtesy of your cat, since the mouse would be considerably easier to catch in its current condition.
How do you eliminate the little guys that you don’t want hanging around? I would love to hear your ideas!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I am writing a novel right now where a gal finds the family car keys on the top shelf of the dishwasher. Later, she finds slippers in the pantry and a half-full carton of milk and that day’s mail in the oven. Sadly for the milk, she finds is when she preheats the oven and starts smelling burning milk and melted plastic a few minutes later.
These are a couple of hints that all might not be well at home. The question my readers will be asking is: which one of the people who live in the house actually did these acts of possible dementia onset? (You’ll have to read the book, when it’s published, to find out….)
Other issues that may arise are forgetfulness, such as not remembering a family member’s name, anger at relatively minor problems, and unwarranted fears (there’s someone under my bed, there’s a monster in my closet, the stuff that falls off of toast is bugs). When these things come, up, it’s really a good idea to take the individual to the doctor’s office and get a full dementia workup.
Your loved one’s physician can determine what type of dementia has come up and can design a treatment plan that will, hopefully, slow the progression of the disease. Like Ronald Reagan said, dementia is a very slow “goodbye.” (Paraphrase mine.)
What issues have you found with dementia in your loved ones? How did you handle it? I would love for you to share your experience with my readers.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Today begins a new adventure: my start of research on planning ahead for those who have never married but want to share their stories on how they have planned ahead for a future where they may need care.
Let me tell you a story: A friend of mine shared with me last week that he met a man via craigslist who was selling everything he owned in order to move into an assisted living home. He had never married, had no children, and had watched as his family and friends died over a period of time. He now needed some help with the basic necessities of life and had no one to turn to. What was he to do?
My friend contacted him about an item he wanted to buy and, when my friend got to the man’s house, the fellow shared his story. My friend told me ” I just bought 4 lamps I don’t need, in an attempt to help this guy out. Please write a book that can offer advice to people who are heading towards situations like this one, so that they can avoid it.”
To do this, I need your help. If you know someone with a story to tell or advice to offer, please ask him or her to post a comment on my blog at www.suddenlysingletips.com I will not identify the contributor in the book, though I will thank him or her in my acknowledgements section. Thanks so much for passing this blog posting along to your friends. I am working on making my social media presence stronger, and appreciate all of your help!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Many years ago, I was the “Chief Grief Lady” (thanks to Erma Brombeck for that title!) at a bank in Florida.
It was always so sad when I had to inform a recent widow that, no, just because she had checks in her checkbook, it did not mean that she had money in the bank.
Many women, whose husbands had always taken care of things financial, approached my desk with fear and trepidation because they could not understand why they kept getting overdrawn notices in the mail.
I tried to explain that you have to make deposits in order to have cash available, but these women had gone from the care of their fathers to being taken care of (and kept totally in the dark) by their husbands. I eventually turned the widows over to the vice president of the bank, so that he could try to explain what was happening to the bereaved women. It was never a pretty picture. It was pathetic.
Folks, please make sure you understand the ins and outs of banking. Do not go from your father’s home to your husband’s house with absolutely no idea of how to make a deposit, balance a checkbook, or write a check. If your spouse pays bills on line, make sure that you know any and all passwords, so that, should the unthinkable happen, you will not be dunned for overdue accounts, or find your electricity has been shut off.
What ideas or stories can you share with my readers? I would love to hear from you.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hi Everyone:
Sometimes we get so bogged down in our troubles that we forget how to laugh. I wanted to share this wonderful and, yes, absolutely silly, recording that I heard today. I hope you enjoy it and pray that it lightens your load. https://stevelaube.com/fun-fridays-may-18-2018/#comment-162515
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Some men rush to immediately give away their deceased wife’s clothing. Try not to be in too big a hurry here, or you may find that someone who could have really used the clothes has been overlooked.
Offer them to your children first; you never know when some jacket or shirt has a special meaning to your kids. However, do not try to force the clothing on your children; the size or style is probably wrong for them, and you should not do a guilt trip on them for not wanting the clothing. Make the offer but let the matter drop if they say they don’t want it; it will not bring your spouse back and they are grieving, as well.
After your children have had the chance to look through the clothing or simply say “no thanks,” consider people you know who might appreciate having them. Is there a clothing bank at your church or do you know of a ministry in your community that could use the clothing?
When my aunt died, we offered her clothes to some nearby neighbors who had been nice to my relative. As it turned out, the mother-in-law of one of our neighbors was exactly my aunt’s size. That woman’s winter coats were pretty much worn out and she had been considering buying new ones.
My aunt had several coats and jackets that were in excellent shape (she took good care of her clothes) and we were able to pass them along for the other gal to enjoy. It felt wonderful to help someone’s mother, especially since those folks had been so nice to my aunt for many years. The rest of her clothing was a bit dated, so we took it to the local Help Center and got a tax deduction for the donation.
When my mother died, we were able to pass some of her lightweight coats to her best friend, who was a similar size. The rest of the clothes were given to a charity that resells used clothing in order to help support retired teachers. My mother had been a high school English teacher at one time, so we really felt like we were reaching back to help out her kind of folks!
The mantra here is: check things out before you dump things out. It would have been such a waste if we just thrown out her clothing, thinking no one would have any use for those things. The teachers’ group even accepted Mom’s old shoes and purses.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
There are some events that you need to plan for, if you have children: college and weddings. Both are huge expenses, the former usually more so than the latter. How will your children fund their college? Will they start out at a community college, taking lower level core classes, and then transfer to a 4-year institution? Will they be able to get a college scholarship (or two) or will you be responsible for paying their whole way? Will you decide that they need to pay for college themselves? Will they want to go to college, or will a trade school be in their future plans? Will they work part or full time and go to school part time?
As a community college faculty member, I see students who work more than one job and still attend class full time. Most of the time, they look exhausted. The ones who live on their own look even more tired as they work a low-paying job while trying to focus on their future. Is this the path you want your children to take?
By planning ahead, you can take some of the burden off of the students in your family and be a real blessing to them as they complete their college education. That is what my parents did and they have now helped their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with the high cost of education.
What about weddings? They can be pretty pricey these days; some couples want the “Say Yes to the Dress” experience (dresses start at about $2,000 at the Atlanta version of this show; the sky’s the limit at the New York version’s “Say Yes” wedding boutique). As a fan of the show, I have seen brides who cared nothing about a so-called budget; they wanted the dress that they wanted and Daddy’s finances made no difference in the world.
Please don’t let that be your approach to weddings; your daughter is going to look incredibly beautiful on her big day, no matter what she wears. You can have a lovely wedding without breaking the bank, but please plan ahead for the day so that it can be a modest, yet superb gathering for friends and family.
What plans do you have for preparing for life’s events? I would love to hear your suggestions.
Best,
Dr. Sheri