Hello everyone:
I discovered something last weekend that was very, very bad. The weather was nice and my front porch seemed to come alive in the warmer weather.
Sure enough, the pest control fellow discovered a boatload of carpenter bees had taken up residence under my front porch. An infestation, if you will. A huge bother.
The good news about carpenter bees is that they don’t sting. The other good news is that they are merely curious about who and what you are. They seem particularly fond of people with flowers in their hair. Or person. Oh, joy!
Additional news, albeit bad, is that they have pinchers that like to grab a hold of something and eat it. Like the wood on your wooden porch, for example. Failing to find purchase on your porch, they are also willing to take a nibble on you.
Talking to the man at the bank, I was informed that he likes to rid his home of these pests by offering tennis rackets to his kids and letting them have at it. It’s a two-for-one special, as his kids get some much-needed exercise and he gets rid of the bees. I prefer the “squirt and murder” approach to the bees, so I asked the exterminator to spray the life out of them.
He tried Plan A with regard to my newest family members; he will be back in a week if they are still hanging (or, in this case, flying) around. I’ll keep you posted.
Do you have any tried-and-true methods of extermination?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I spoke with some widows and divorcees recently and this blog posting is their take on the dating scene:
One of my widow friends told me that one of the hardest things she faced was the fact that she was single again. She kept referring to things that “we” were going to do. Finally her son said, “Mom, you’re single. There is no ‘we.’”
She eventually found a very nice widower to do things with, although neither one of the two wants to remarry. They both had wonderful spouses and don’t want to replace them. They go out and do things together, but still return to their own homes at night. When they travel together, they have separate accommodations. They have settled into a very comfortable relationship that meets their needs.
My wealthy widowed friend told me that widows should “watch out for frogs.” What she meant was to be on the lookout for old, ugly men who are looking for a “nurse or a purse.” She also called them “Cretans” who will tell you that you are not worthwhile and that they are doing you a favor by dating you.
She warned me that many women, after being widowed or divorced, see themselves as being unworthy or are feeling deserted. She stated that “you have more to bring to the table than you think” but that remarriage might not necessarily be a good thing for you. Instead, she urged those who are suddenly-single to realize that now they can come and go as they please and do things that a spouse might not be on board with, such as traveling and being involved in various organizations.
She also cautioned that the world of dating has changed a lot in the past few years and that the moral standards (or, actually, the complete lack of moral standards) might not be in agreement with what the newly-single person believes in. Rather than be pressured into doing things that someone would not normally do, she said it might be better to remain happily unmarried. She has followed her own advice here.
Another gal I know who has been divorced for some time still wears a ring on her ring finger. When I asked why, she told me that she had been through a disastrous marriage and divorce. She has no intention of ever re-marrying, so she had her wedding ring remade into a dinner ring. She wears it as “a deterrent.”
This has apparently worked very well for her. She isn’t dating and men don’t hit on her when they see the ring. To be fair, this also sends away potential quality suitors as well, but she is determined to remain happily single. She has a lovely home and an excellent job. She loves her life as it is and feels no need to share it with someone.
If you feel that you absolutely want to get started on the dating scene again, it is my understanding that the place to pick up chicks is in the food store and the place to pick up guys is in the Home Depot. I do not have personal experience with this; I am relying on the advice of someone who apparently does.
One thing I will mention is: it is really tacky to bring your girlfriend to your wife’s funeral. Do not be like Ryan O’Neal and try to pick up a gal as you place your significant other’s casket in the hearse (O’Neal, according to the rag magazines, tried to hit on a pretty blonde as he loaded Farah Fawcett’s body into the hearse; it turned out the woman he was allegedly trying to pick up was his own daughter, Tatum O’Neal. He had been estranged from Tatum for some years and claimed he did not recognize her). This lacks good taste, folks.
So, what is your take on the dating scene, my friends who are widowed or divorced? I would like to know what you thing about the idea of returning to dating after many years. When you share your thoughts, please tell me how long it has been since you had a date with someone besides your husband or wife.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
If you have something in your closet that you argue with yourself about every time you go to put it on, give it away. Be brutal. If you haven’t worn an outfit in a year or more, chances are slim that you will wear it now. (Especially if you aren’t slim enough to wear it now.)
As the saying goes, “You have to get rid of what you don’t want in your life to make room for what you do want.” Do you really want to keep those ugly, dated shoes with the worn-down heels? It would probably cost more to have them re-heeled than they are worth.
As you work through your closet, have three piles: give away, throw away, and keep. As the closet empties out, dust for cobwebs and clean off the shelves and floor. As you put away your “keep” pile, your closet will be cleaned, as well as cleaned out.
Please note that this works well on dressers, as well. Do you really want to hold onto a nightgown that itches, a belt that pinches, or underwear that cinches? Nope. Give them away or throw them away.
Undergarments that don’t fit will not lead to a nice-looking appearance. The battle of the bulge will throw off your whole look, so toss or give away these items, pronto. Do you really want to keep something that seems to indicate you have two sets of cleavage? I didn’t think so. Ladies, there is nothing even remotely sexy about back cleavage.
What ideas would you like to share about getting rid of old clothing? I would love to have you share some tips, as well.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Have you ever had a refrigerator with a door ice maker refuse to give up its wares? I have and I figured out how to unstick the stuck. That is the topic of today’s blog posting, profound though it is.
I went to my refrigerator, pushed my glass underneath the ice dispenser, and ….nothing but a groaning came from my appliance. Being a patient person (or not, as is actually the case), I tried again. The refrigerator strained with all its might but… still nothing.
I opened the freezer and reached into the ice dispenser at the top of the freezer section and scooped out the much-needed ice (smoothies are not as exciting minus the ice cubes) and went on my way. But I realized that something had to be done. I could not keep on living like this. But what?
By the next time I needed ice, the problem was solved. I opened the freezer and played around with the ice cubes that had already dropped into the area where they are either liberated as whole pieces or pulverized into ice chips (please note the need to be extremely careful here- the metal ice pulverizers at the bottom of that part of your door mean serious business and could easily mangle your hand, if you aren’t aware they are there, lurking in the darkness.)
Sure enough, the ice waiting in that area was frozen solid….I lifted it out, freeing the unit to go about its normal business and make ice cubes fall freely down the ramp and into my waiting glass. Success was mine!
Now if I could only get the ice maker to stop throwing out random ice cubes about 30 minutes after I ask for ice…they fall on the floor with quite a racket and has startled me out of a deep sleep…Suggestions?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
A friend of mine, who has been a real estate broker/owner for over 30 years, told me that the first thing someone should do when considering the sale of his or her home after the passing or departure of a spouse is to wait six months before doing anything.
If you can afford the mortgage payment and the bills you have, wait before making a huge decision like selling your house. He suggested that you “take a deep breath” and figure out exactly why you want to sell your home.
Are you an older individual who wants to live closer to your children? The problem with that is that your child might get a wonderful job offer in the near future and have to decide between staying nearby to keep you company or deserting you for a better job opportunity.
Let’s say you sell your home, move quickly to be near the kids, and six months later, they have sold their home and moved away. Where would that leave you? You would be in a new place where you have few (if any) friends and you would be totally alone in a new town.
If you feel you have to move, move somewhere that you want to live. Make sure your new location is near a large airport so that you can visit your children a few times a year.
Note on airports: You may find that the nearest airport has horrible rates for flying to your children’s location. I learned recently that it was considerably cheaper to drive back to my former area and fly out of that location, rather than pay five times the rate to fly locally. The cost of my time was about the same, due to lack of nonstop flights from the new airport and hours lost due to layovers.
Let’s do the math. It takes me five hours to drive to my former airport but the cost of a ticket to my kids’ location is less than $200, one way for a nonstop 2 hour flight. There are airports very close to where I live now and I could get to three of them in less than 3 hours. I could not get a nonstop, so the flight would take about 6 hours, with layovers, and would cost $500 for a one way ticket.
So a one-way ticket from the old airport is $200 or less, but requires a 7 hour commitment of time, one way (not including TSA time in either scenario). A one-way ticket from the new airport is $500 and requires a 9 hour commitment of time, one way. My path to the old airport is a lovely drive through the countryside, so guess which way I chose?
This is food for thought as you decide to sell and move to a new place for a fresh start. I would love to hear what you think about this topic!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
This week, another scam came into my life. This time, it was from a Tunnel Toll collection company. According to the posted they have on their website from 19 other people who have never crossed their bridge, I am not alone. I pass this along to you, dear readers, in the hope that you will not get scammed by them or someone like them. Here is my letter:
Dear Sirs or Madame:
I wish to report a miracle. It appears, based on the enclosed bill I received from you, that I was in the Norfolk area on Saturday, January 11, 2019 at 5:40 am while I was on my treadmill in Lynchburg at the same moment. Since the locations are 189.7 miles apart, I believe that this qualifies me for sainthood in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church.
Please also note that my temporary tags were about to expire, so on Friday, January 10th, I had the Virginia tags replaced with my Maryland tags while I waited the arrival of my updated sticker for my new vehicle. The tags which you say were crossing the Elizabeth River Tunnel were actually in my home in Lynchburg, as well. I am unaware if sainthood can be bestowed on cardboard, but perhaps you can check into it.
This is to say that I have no intention of paying your bill for $5.76. The photo you sent me is totally dark so unless someone in your organization has X-Ray vision, I would argue that the car in question is not mine. I do not have a self-driving car and I am reasonably certain that my car was in my driveway at the time of this event, since I used it to go somewhere local at 8 am. The car, unless it sprouted wings and flew, could not have possibly have made it back to my house in time to take me to breakfast with some friends. They can vouch for the fact that I was in Lynchburg, should that become necessary.
Please reply via snail mail that you are removing the charge of $5.76 from my account, especially since I have never crossed your bridge. (Nor do I plan to, anytime in the near future. However, should it become necessary, I will make sure I get a receipt for the toll.)
I remain,
Sheri Dean Parmelee, Ph.D.
I hope this saves some of you from paying bills that you did not generate.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
My shower drain got clogged up recently. No big deal, right? I let it stay that way for a while, enjoying the warm water that surrounded my feet in the shower.
Then, yesterday morning, I realized that my shower mat was getting slimy. The water was hanging around too long and the shower mat, which I bought to keep myself from falling, was slippery in a very bad way. (Is there a good way?)
What to do? I had never unclogged a drain, personally. I had seen it done but didn’t own any tools except for a hammer and a couple different screwdrivers. They didn’t appear to be the kind of tools that would help in this situation. They weren’t.
Ladies: Here’s what to do: Go to the store and get a Drain Devil. (I got mine in the hardware section of the grocery store. It cost $3. It comes rolled up inside a small package, so you might not see it immediately but keep looking. It’s a lot cheaper than a plumber.) It’s an ugly orange plastic snake-like thing with spines. You are going to straighten it out by rolling it up in the opposite direction from how it is in the package and stick it down your drain. When it won’t go any further, pull it towards yourself slowly and it will dredge up all the gunk in your drain.
Note: This is a messy job. You will probably be able to get better traction on getting out the gunk if you straddle the side of the shower and place one of your feet on the floor and the other in the shower. Do not wear nice jewelry or fine clothing when you do this. You also won’t fall into the gunk on the floor of the shower as you work if you are partly into the shower. Don’t ask.
You will need to stick it in the drain several times. The gunk didn’t get down there all at once and it isn’t going to come up that way. Baby steps. The stuff that comes up (hair, in my case) is going to be soapy and gross. Don’t hang onto it. You are not going to do performance art here- this is yucky junk. Roll it up in a paper towel and put it in the trash can. Do not put it in the toilet and flush it, or you could end up with a whole new problem.
I hope this helps you ungunk a gunky shower drain. Next time, you might want to get a drain strainer that keeps your junk from getting in the drain in the first place! (I need to listen to my own advice here. It’s going on my next shopping list, for sure!)
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I recently got a new car. It’s under warranty from the auto maker, but I got a very panicked-sounding letter from the “Vehicle Services Division,” telling me that my warranty was in danger if I did not respond immediately, if not sooner.
It’s a crock of baloney. Let me tell you what they told me in their letter.
First, they told me twice, no less, that my “immediate response to this notice requested.” [Please note: They left out the verb “is”- perhaps they thought that would scare me more.]
Next, they accused me of not contacting their company to “have the vehicle service contract for your ___________ uploaded.” Sorry, folks, this is the first time I have ever heard of you. Why would I go looking for you, pray tell?
Then they told me that they had created my very own website. Why? I didn’t ask them to do that. I refer back to the thought that I have never heard of them, so why would I expect them to create my own personal website?
Additionally, they told me that “by neglecting to replace your coverage you will be at risk of being financially liable for any and all repairs after your factory warranty expires.” Yes, I assume that I would be, but my car has less than three thousand miles on it, so why would I sweat over this right now? [Note: They left off the commas with their parenthetic expression that begins “you will be at risk” and ends with “all repairs.”]
Then they told me that I have less than a month to sign up. They said “your file on this vehicle will be deleted [Oh, no, please do not delete me!] and you may not longer be eligible for this offer regarding service coverage after 3/13/2019.” [Good. The extremely fine print says you are not associated with my car manufacturer anyway.][The finer print says that all repairs would have to be pre-approved, even if I did get their coverage.]
I am reminded one final time that I must “call no later than 3/13/2019” or really bad things will happen. Their small print (that I had to put my glasses on to see) informed me that “This is an advertisement to obtain coverage.” This information is buried so completely in other legal gobbledygook I would have missed it, if my panic had set in to the degree that they had hoped. [I did not panic; I got ticked off. Poor punctuation and bad writing have a tendency to do that to me.]
Watch out folks! The bad guys are out to get you, but let me wave you off. Don’t panic when you get a piece of garbage like this. The only good thing about receiving this urgent offer was that I could share it with you. Please forward this blog posting to everyone you know, to warn them about these folks, as well. Thanks!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
A friend of mine needed to wash his orange bedspread. He had never washed it before, but jammed the spread into a large-capacity washer and turned it on.
Although he took care to wash it separately from his other clothes when he went to the laundromat, he was not so careful when it came time to dry the clothes.
He felt that he could save money by dumping his whites in with the bedspread. Well, he did save money but he left the establishment with pale orange underwear and T-shirts.
He admits that the tiny bit of savings did not make up for the months he spent wearing colored undergarments. After a few months, the color faded to pale peach, which he steadfastly refused to wear and he replaced the garments.
The idea that “Yes, you must separate the colors from the dark clothes” is actually no longer etched in stone, if you purchase something called Shout’s “Color Catchers.” If you goof and mix your colors (or if you steadfastly refuse to separate the clothes), you can throw one of these sheets into your washer and re-wash the clothes.
The Color Catcher will pull the dark dye in the clothes away from your lighter colors. As it does this, the Color Catcher will turn a dark color, which beats having your clothes that color! Do not dry the clothes together, or you will have defeated the purpose of the Color Catcher catching your misplaced color. You have to dry the darks and lights separately or the problem will reassert itself.
Do not try to re-use the Color Catcher sheet. Follow the directions on the box and discard the sheet after you use it. Keep in mind that these things cost money, they do not replace your need for laundry detergent, and they do not function as fabric softeners. Their sole task is to keep your light things from turning dingy because you washed white or light clothing with dark.
Think of this as the “morning-after pill” for washing machines. Do not dry the clothes before you re-wash them, or the dinginess will be set in the clothing. If you are careful with money, it would be better to just separate your clothes and avoid the need for this product. Let me repeat: you will still need to use laundry detergent with this product and it is not a fabric softener sheet, although it looks like one. These products are not interchangeable!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Let’s say that you have decided to become the next celebrity chef….or not, but you have made the decision to begin cooking your own meals. This is great! Here are some tips to make your cleanup easier. As you begin cooking, get into the cabinets and refrigerator and take out all of the things you will need to prepare whatever it is that you are making. As you use an ingredient, don’t put it down, put it away!
By putting things back where they belong as you cook, you will make sure that you include everything in the recipe that is called for, while also cleaning the work area at the same time. When the food item is in the oven, clean the dishes and wipe down the counter top. You will find that you have a sparkling kitchen as well as a delicious meal waiting for you.
Note: There is a difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon and it really does matter which measuring spoon and measuring cup you use. The measurements are usually etched into the measuring spoons and cups, but you may need your reading glasses to see them. Don’t be lazy here, go get your glasses!
Also, be careful not to mix up sugar and salt. There is a difference between the two. One tastes good in pies and the other will gag you. (Don’t ask!) Also, there is a difference between ketchup and tomato sauce. One is great on hamburgers and the other….not so much. Do not refill your ketchup bottle with tomato sauce – or, worse yet, tomato paste! You and your guests will notice. I promise.
Cleaning the cooking pot or pan can be done while you eat; take the amount of food you want to eat, put the rest in refrigerator containers, and fill the pot or pan with dish soap and hot water while you eat. You will consume the meal and find the pot or pan much easier to clean since you have left it soaking for a few minutes. Do not leave the pot or pan soaking for any longer or you may end up leaving it for a week.
When my maternal aunt died (very young, only 53) of stomach cancer, her youngest child was only 16 years old. The young girl was the only child still at home with her father; neither of them knew anything about housekeeping. They “let dishes soak” for a week at a time, since neither of them knew how to operate their new dishwasher. Do you really want to reach into a sink of water, soap, and decaying food? I didn’t think so; clean the pots, pans, and dishes right after a meal, not days (or weeks) later.
A dishwasher is a wonderful thing. However, make sure that you are using the right product for the right appliance. Using liquid dish washing soap in a dishwasher will lead to the opportunity of having a bubble bath in your kitchen…..all over the floor. Since a foaming bath should be reserved for your bathroom, you will want to make sure that you use dishwasher soap in the dishwasher.
If there are multiple people in your household, it is very important that everyone is aware when the dishwasher contains clean dishes that are drying. I put a little note that says “dishes drying, do not open” on my counter top; this gives me a couple hours to unload the now-clean and dry dishes and prevents someone from adding a dirty dish to my clean ones. It is very hard, sometimes, to figure out which dirty dish was added to the clean ones, so the sign helps (at my house, we wash the dishes off before putting them into the dishwasher; the appliance is used more for sanitizing than actually cleaning the dishes).
There is also a product that reduces water spots left on glasses; if you have hard water, you may want to consider using it. You can get the type that is used with every wash, with every few washes, or one that is included in the dish washing compound.
If you use the dishwasher to actually clean the dishes, look them over carefully before you put them away. If there is any gunk left on the dishes, wash them off by hand and return them to the dishwasher to be sanitized. If the fork has a piece of dried, hardened spaghetti on it, putting it away dirty will lead to unhappiness when you take a fork out of the drawer next time. Do you really want to eat tonight’s dinner with a spaghetti-encrusted fork from last week? I didn’t think so.
Best,
Dr. Sheri