Hello everyone:
I got a church newsletter from my great aunt’s church of many years and I was struck by how a few people can make a huge difference in the lives of others.
The last time I visited her church, the normal attendance on a Sunday morning was 271 people over two services. Not a huge group, but faithful folks who regularly met together.
These folks have a ministry to their community all year round but they go out of their way to minister to others at Christmastime. They take homemade cookies to people who have to work on Christmas day, such as firemen and women, hospital workers, and police.
Their newsletter that arrived at my home today has numerous thank you notes from folks who they have helped in the last month: for some, the church paid their gas or electric bill; to others, food was brought in during a time of someone’s difficulty; for those unable to get out and about, small Christmas trees (apparently full-decorated) were given to cheer the stay-at-home invalids.
What a wonderful way to go out of their way to help those unable to help themselves! What experiences have you had with being blessed by the actions of a few?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
The holidays can be very difficult as we navigate seldom-seen relatives amidst a flurry of activity. We can find tempers frayed as we become sleep-deprived as a result of increasing responsibilities. Too much to do in too little time can add to our holiday stress, and a limited income in addition to holiday bills can add to those challenges.
Put in a liberal dose of illness or infirmity, too much togetherness in too tight a space, and you have a disaster waiting to happen.
So what can we do? Ask for help. Don’t take all of the jobs on yourself. Pray. Take time to read your Bible. Try to stay on as normal a schedule as possible. Respect others’ need for privacy and ask that they acknowledge your need. Reach out the to person who seems determined to give you the hardest time, if you can. Take a walk when things seem overwhelming.
Depend on God to help you make it through. And, yes, it can be helpful to have a personal countdown of how many days you have left in this season. Give yourself something to look forward to, such as lunch out with a friend, and do not let anyone talk you out of this personal time that you need.
I pray that you will make it through successfully, and that you will have a blessed holiday!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
P.S. Now excuse me while I go make the family dinner, set up for it, and do the laundry while everyone else is at the beach. Oh, well….. I love my family and this is the way that I serve God.
Hello everyone:
A friend of mine had a small child who locked herself in the bathroom when we had gone over to another friend’s house for craft time. We did not realize the child was missing until we took a break for snacks.
The recently-potty trained child had tried to take care of business herself but the house and its locks were old and the little girl did not know how to get out of the bathroom once she was inside. We knew nothing about tools and had to call 911 to extricate the child from her dilemma.
If you would like to avoid having fire trucks show up at your place, I will guide you through the tools you need to have on hand and will end with how to remove a locked door.
You need to have the following items in your tool box: two screwdrivers (Phillips head and flat head), pliers, wire cutters, picture hangers, wrenches, a hammer, and duct tape.
My sister-in-law also finds that a retraceable exacto-type knife comes in handy because when the blade gets dull, you can break it off and a new one appears.
Here’s the thing about tools: you get what you pay for. If you buy cheap tools, they will not last and you will end up frustrated when they cannot do what you need them to do. If you buy Sears Craftsman tools, they come with a lifetime warranty and Sears will replace them if they break.
Your toddler or grandchild has just locked him or herself in your bathroom. Short of calling 911, how do you get the child out? It depends on the type of doorknob that you have (and how old it is). If it is a relatively new doorknob, you should have a small hole in the center of the handle. These locks usually came with a key-type piece of metal. It is recommended that you keep this metal key on top of your door frame, in case of emergency. Rub your hand over the top of the door, to see if your key is there. If it is, poke the piece of metal into the door knob until you hear a “click.” The door should now be unlocked. If you have a flat-sided key, then you may have to poke it into the handle and turn the key in order to get the door to unlock.
With some older doors, there is no hole to poke into the handle. Grab a Phillips head screwdriver (the one that looks like a starburst on the tip) and head towards the door. Remove the screws on the side of the handle that are visible from your side of the door. [Note: Keep the screws local- you will need them after you get the child out of the room.] Reach into the lock mechanism and unlock the door. Plan on putting the handle back on the door after the child is freed. You will do this by putting the screws you took out a few minutes ago, putting them back on the handle area, and screwing them back into place.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Do you know what day the trash is collected in your area? How about knowing when the recycle folks show up? What time do you need to have the trashcans out at the curb? Where should you place them? How much time do you have to bring them back to the house? (This could be an issue with your homeowners’ association.) Are there any special restrictions on what you can place at the curb?
If you haven’t been paying attention to these details, talk to your neighbors or observe what they are doing. Your local county is also a good source of information on trash. Visit their website or give them a call to find out what is or is not acceptable.
Garbage cans can be extremely heavy when they are full, so either do not fill them completely, use more than one garbage can so that the weight is more evenly distributed, or get a dolly to roll the can to the curb.
I do not recommend putting the garbage can in the back of your car; even if you could lift it (this sounds like a hernia operation waiting to happen); if the trash spills out you could end up with a very smelly trunk.
Make every effort to get rid of your trash on a weekly basis. The longer it hangs around, the more likely you will attract bugs, rodents, or other small animals. Trash does not get better with time. It also does not go away on its own. (Think Alice’s Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie, here!)
You can also purchase garbage cans that have wheels. They come in very handy if you need to pull your garbage can to the curb for pickup. You may wish to put your house number on the side of the can so that you can identify it from those of your neighbors; a magic marker usually works well on providing the cans with permanent identification. Again, be sure to follow the homeowners’ association rules for when you’re your garbage can be placed at the curb and the deadline by which it must be removed.
What tips do you have for garbage removal? I would love to hear from you!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
In honor of the hurricanes that have been ripping through the States these days, I would like to share some hurricane shutter maintenance ideas with you today.
These lovely items are used mostly in the south. Fortunate folks have the electric kind that go up and down with a flick of a switch. Others have the manual kind, where it is necessary to use brutal force (or a big stick) to get them up and down. While we are on the topic, we will go over both kinds, but here is one tip for both kinds of owners: at least once a month, open and close them, to make sure that they have not frozen either open or closed. Can you get them all the way open or all the way closed? With electric shutters, the main problem is that they can freeze in place if you don’t open and close them regularly. Even though you won’t need them except in case of emergency, take the time to open and close them about once a month. This is especially important, since chances are excellent that you live in an area where the moisture in the air corrodes things.
Most electric shutters come with a back-up battery. Keep it plugged in and fully charged so that you can still get your shutters up and down in case of power loss. Please note that the information on lubricating shutters in the next paragraph also applies to electric shutters; they need to be lubricated on a regular basis, just like their manual counterparts.
With manual shutters, they can be very stubborn when you are trying to open or close them. Make sure you have used a silicone spray lubricant sparingly on the lock, the rolls, and the tracks on the side of the shutters, if they do not want to open when they are closed. (The lubricant will stain whatever it lands on, including concrete if you are outside when you use it and rugs if you are inside, so don’t use a lot of it. Have a rag handy and wipe up any excessive lubricant that is dripping.) Slip the key into the lock and turn it carefully. Do not force it, or you may end up breaking the little key that you get with these kinds of shutters.
If the lock is stubborn, wiggle the whole shutter a bit, to loosen things up. I keep a 1×2 stick with me when opening or closing my Florida condo’s hurricane shutters. The stick can help you get some torque as you open the shutter, but the stick can also be slipped onto the bottom rung of the shutter when you are trying with all your strength to close it. Try to move quickly and with force as you pull down the shutter. Put the stick in the bottom rung after you have the shutter about ¾ of the way closed and put your weight behind the force as you push the shutter completely down. It should click when it is locked.
You may notice that the outside of your shutters gets dirty. I suggest using Windex and paper towels on the outside of the shutters on a monthly basis. If you don’t clean them, your hands will get very dirty as you open and close them. They clean very easily and offer you the opportunity to meet and greet your neighbors.
I hope that this helps guide you with the use of your shutters. Otherwise, the experience of dealing with them could make you….well, shudder.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Have you ever been to a destination wedding? I went to one recently and discovered something interesting: the destination is a place that the bride and groom want to go to, but the guests, not so much.
We were in the wilds of New England, where the bride and her family loved to go when she was growing up. The groom was not so enamored of the place, but he was enamored of the bride, so he went. Folks, my idea of roughing it is the Hilton Garden Inn, not some backwater place with no television, no radio, no phones (cellphone availability was not available and texting only went through every once in a while), and no air conditioning on a humid 95+degree weekend in summer.
Lest you say that I should have forgotten the Internet while I was there, I was under contract to be available to my employers and did not have a choice about doing some work that weekend. I also call my elderly father four times a week and could not get through to him because of the lack of phone service.
Here’s an idea: how about if you share your nuptial vows where is does not take me an entire day and hundreds of dollars to fly into the place and another day to return home? Taking three days out of my life to watch you get married in a half an hour is just a bit much to ask, in my book.
I will confess that, if I had been emotionally close to the bride and groom, I would have been willing to shell out the time and money for what was actually a five-day celebration of their wedding. (I only went to three of the five days.)
What do you think of this topic? Do you find destination weddings as frustrating as I did this past weekend? I would love to hear your tales of woe!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hi Everyone:
It is my understanding that folks in Florida have a new craze- painting rocks and leaving them for others to find.
While this might not sound very exciting, a dear friend of mine told me about a friend of hers who recently had to go to the hospital because an elderly relative’s life support was being turned off. She was feeling very blue when she suddenly spotted a small rock next to the sidewalk. It was painted with a cute little smiley face.
Something as seemingly-silly as a painted rock somehow lifted her spirits. The gal was able to carry on and say “goodbye” to her family member. Usually, it is the custom to re-plant the rock you find so that someone else can find it someplace else. This gal was so affected by the rock that she said she doesn’t plan on giving it away.
Because she will keep the rock, my friend decided to have a rock-painting craft day at her house, painting (and planting) more rocks for others to find. She and her mother and granddaughter spent an afternoon painting, hoping that their efforts will help brighten someone’s day.
What ideas do you have for encouraging others? Let’s start a movement of encouragement to total strangers, like some of the folks in Florida have done!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I wanted to share a story I heard in church this past Sunday. It was told during a sermon on the love between David and Jonathan. I hope you will enjoy it.
Johnny and Arthur were brothers who were young men at the time of the Vietnam Conflict. They were in different branches of the service; Johnny was sent to Vietnam while Arthur was still in training. During the second World War, many families had lost numerous sons, so the United States government decided that, from that time on, two sons from the same family would not serve in a combat zone at the same time.
Johnny was in Vietnam, having almost completed his first tour of duty when he realized that Arthur was headed there as soon as he (Johnny) left the country. Well, Arthur was a very talented young man and Johnny hated the thought that his little brother would go through some of the terrible things that he had experienced while serving, so Johnny went to his commanding officer to request that he be allowed to serve a second tour, so that his kid brother would not have to go. Permission was granted.
The really good news of this story of brotherly love is that Johnny did make it home safely and Arthur was sent to Germany, where he served his country in a much safer place. Arthur later went on to great success in the world. You may have heard of him: Arthur Ashe. Because of his brother’s sacrifice, Arthur was not injured or killed in Vietnam, but went on to thrill the world of tennis with his great gifts.
What story of sacrificial love have you heard lately? I would love to hear from you!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
One way to keep your spirits up during a difficult time is to have something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be anything as dramatic as a weeks-long trip; it can be as simple as a window shopping trip or a movie with a friend.
What kind of low-budget-high-fun-level activities can you think of? Maybe going to the latest movie with a close friend is your kind of excitement. Perhaps you prefer going to craft stores or going on nature walks or chatting with a friend over a cup of coffee. It doesn’t have to be expensive to know that, at some time in the near future, you are going to have something to do that takes you away from your business-as-usual life.
You don’t even have to be experiencing a difficult time to enjoy this type of thing. Maybe you are so busy working and taking care of others that you have neglected your own mental health. What would you like to do that gets you out of your present rut that would make your eyes light up?
Are you a practical joker or do you just enjoy talking about a what-if-I-were-into-that-type-of-thing? What kind of non-harmful prank would you pull if no one ever found out that you had done it? Sometimes it is fun just to talk about it.
Seriously, what kind of out-of-the-ordinary idea can you come up with?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
In today’s blog, I wanted to share some news about an upcoming project: Suddenly Single for Military Couples (I do not have a subtitle yet). This is the third book in my Suddenly Single series and I hope you can be a part of it.
I am looking for the family members of veterans, or veterans themselves, who would be willing to be interviewed. The idea here is to share with our readers the what-I-know-now-that-I-wish-I’d-known-then approach to either being deployed or coming back from deployment a changed person as the result of being harmed or killed. (Okay, that sounded a bit strange. Obviously, I don’t want to talk with dead people. What I meant is that I would like to talk with the family that the service person left behind.)
It is my goal to have a book that is by (as a result of the interviews I do) and for military people. I will not identify individual service members or their families in this book, to protect their privacy. If given permission to do so, I will list the families in my acknowledgment section. I am the daughter of a World War 2 Navy veteran, the ex-wife of a U.S. Air Force veteran, the mother of a 100% disabled Army veteran, and the sister-in-law of a Coast Guard veteran. My heart is with our service people; the royalties from this endeavor will go to benefit charities that support them. [Fisher House is the charity that I am leaning towards, since they provide free housing to military families whose parent/spouse is in the hospital.]
If you know someone who would be willing to chat with me, or if you are a veteran who would like to be a part of this book, please comment in the comment section of this blog. I will be in touch. Thanks ever so much!
Best,
Dr. Sheri