Overcoming the New Normal in Your Family’s Life

Hello everyone:

So, it’s happened. You ex has replaced you. It didn’t take long, all things considered, and now you need to deal with it….and with comforting your kids.

Whether your ex replaced you in two months or two years, you are going to face the new person in your family at all large or important family gatherings, so you need to decide how you are going to handle it. Like I used to tell my kids when they were little and had to do something they didn’t want to do, “we can do this nice or we can do it nasty, but we are going to do it.” And so it is the case here.

Sure, it stinks but look at it this way: The person he or she is marrying is stuck with your ex and you aren’t. That should be cause for rejoicing, if nothing else. Here’s something important to catch: Do not try to warn the new spouse-to-be about your ex because he or she is not going to believe it and it will look like sour grapes. Instead, pray for that person, that his or her eyes will be opened to the true character of your ex.

But what about your kids? Even if they are grown, this is very hard on them. Be there for them. As your ex moves into his or her new life, he or she won’t be there. The ex has moved on and frequently that includes dumping the kids you shared, who are constant reminders of the failed marriage.

Love your kids. Support them. Let them talk. Pray for them and for your own hurt feelings because let’s face it, when you are so easily replaced, it hurts, at least at first. As time moves on, you will as well. Even if that means that you are alone and your ex isn’t, you may find that you have the better deal.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

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