Breaking Up is Hard to Do, even if it’s with Your House

Hello everyone:

Have you ever been in mourning? For a house? That’s what I have faced recently, as a home that has been in our family since 1948 is being sold and the house where I raised my two sons is also on the market. Breaking up is hard to do, even when you’re talking about brick and mortar.

There’s the tree where your kids played cops and robbers or the porch where you swung on swings while chatting with your aunts and drinking iced tea with so much sugar that the spoon to stir it almost stood bolt upright. The front yard of your family home is there, neatly trimmed and running over with deer each evening. The tiny yard where you caught your first fireflies in mason jars is carefully pruned to show the house to its best advantage.

And there you stand on the outskirts, knowing that the properties have to sell but almost praying they won’t. But they must. So there you have it.

It doesn’t even have to be a house that you’ve owned for a long time for you to regret having to sell. I spoke to a couple this morning in such a situation. He kept telling me how much he loves his house. Present tense. He is going to sell it, to move near the grandchildren, but he worked so hard on the house that he has bonded with it. His wife stood nearby with tears in her eyes, but knowing that their path has been set in a different direction. They are moving hundreds of miles away.

Someone told me recently that, if someone is too busy looking back, he or she can’t see what God has for them in the future. The Bible talks about the man who puts his shoulder to the plow and how the fellow will mess up his plowing if he looks behind himself.

Simply put, we can’t see the blessings ahead if we look backwards all the time. They say that you shouldn’t cry over something that can’t cry back. While a house can’t tell you what it’s feeling, it is okay to grieve. But afterwards, you need to move on.

What are your thoughts on moving?


Dr. Sheri

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