Finding New Life after Widowhood

Hello everyone:

Remarriage is not for everyone. I know some widowers, widows, and divorced folks who are very happy remaining “blessedly single.” Maybe they have been so traumatized by what happened to them that they have no desire to walk down the aisle again.

But what about those people who were so happily married that they are eager to repeat what, for them, was a wonderful experience? More power to them. The thing is, we shouldn’t judge anyone for his or her decision regarding remarriage.

One caveat: This withholding of judgment does not apply to someone who left his or her spouse for greener pastures. If that person cheated on his or her spouse, then all bets are off.

I had the opportunity to spend some time recently with an elderly couple whose spouses died. They had known each other many years before and re-connected through Facebook. They had both been blessed with many years of happiness with their first spouses and had wonderful children and grandchildren, but were now in the position to find one another again. And they did.

It was a blessing to be with them and it was a wonderful testimony to how great remarriage after losing a great spouse can be. My own grandmother buried her first hubby due to cancer and she married a widower several years later, giving her two daughters a wonderful step-father. Her teen-aged daughters absolutely adored their step-father, who took them all into his home and made a wonderful life for them.

So, if you’re up for it, go for it. And let’s congratulate those who make that choice but let’s not judge those who decide differently.

What is your experience with the remarriage question?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

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