Avoiding Controlling Partners

Hello everyone:

Perhaps you have been single for a long time, or maybe your journey in singleness is relatively recent. Whatever the case, you have decided to jump back into the pool of availability and you may have your eye on the next Mr. or Ms. Right at this very moment. Let’s take a step back and look at your potential mate.

The individual seems pretty near perfect. He or she is intelligent, attractive, and pleasant. The stars seem to be in alignment on this pairing and you are seriously considering taking the plunge into matrimonial waters again. My question for you is: how does this person handle not getting his or her way?

Since marriage is a partnership and has a lot of give and take, does this individual insist that he or she is always right, that his or her way is the only way things should be done? Some gals burst into tears with the slightest provocation, while some guys blow up if things are not going his way. Either reaction is bothersome. Both are ways to control you and your life. Tears are a passive aggressive approach to getting one’s own way, while anger can be downright dangerous to your physical and mental health. Neither is a good way to live.

Some controlling partners become sullen or withdrawn, while others stew over plans when they don’t get their way. Maybe this individual is a pouter, who acts like a two-year-old whose favorite toy has been taken away. Hey, it worked then and it still works, even though the person is grown. Have you ever seen a little kid in a grocery store who wants a treat and Mom or Dad doesn’t want to give it to the child? The kid might choose to pitch a fit or hold his or her breath long enough to scare the parent. Maybe the child is throwing a full-blown temper tantrum right there in the store. To keep the peace, Mom or Dad gives in, reinforcing the behavior in the child’s mind.

Fast forward a couple dozen years and now you have an adult who is used to getting his or her own way…….the results can get pretty ugly. You would most likely benefit from taking a hard look at your potential dreamboat. Take off the rose-colored glasses and take a good, hard look at your potential Mr. or Mrs.

Have you ever dealt with a controlling personality? I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Please use my name in your reply, since my website has been getting a lot of spam these days and I would like to respond to you, if you are not a robot.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

 

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