Moving on when others move out

Hello everyone:

Today’s blog is about knowing when to move Mom or Dad. I hope you find it helpful!

According to a pastor I spoke with, most of the time at his church, he sees Baby Boomers caring for aging parents. They have to make decisions regarding their parents’ health and financial matters. They go to their parents’ home every week to take care of medical and care needs. This adds an incredible strain to their marriages, as well as taking a great deal of their time. He found that caregivers in situations like this frequently lose contact with their own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. They believe that no one can care for their parents the way that they can, so they devote a great deal of time and energy to the task. Sometimes they talk about moving their parents, but this leaves the parent with no network of people who care, no church, and increases the financial strain on the family. If the parents move, they don’t know anyone in their new location, especially if they have become shut-ins. The pastors go to see Mrs. Jones, for example, but she doesn’t know anyone else in that area.

The pastor had a superb solution: he and his wife moved his widowed mother to a new home close to theirs before her need arose. She had watched her friends die or move away and was becoming increasingly alone in the neighborhood and church where she had lived and worshiped for the past 40 years. She was running out of people that she knew, so her son and his wife moved her while she was still active and could make new friends. People build community around you. She moved a lot earlier than she needed to but now she is making new friends and building a new life at her new church. If this is not a possibility, find a balance or it will consume your family.

What suggestions do you have for knowing when you need to help your parents move? What was the biggest challenge to you as a son or daughter to help make that move go smoothly? I would love to hear from you!


Dr. Sheri

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