Loving enough to grieve

Hello everyone:

This might seem like a downer of a blog for today, but how much did you love your spouse? Are you one of those folks who somehow believe that your spouse was a mere placeholder for the woman (or man) of your dreams? If so, then your time of grief might be considerably less than someone else’s season of mourning. Are you a fellow who says he will re-marry “immediately” if your wife dies? Does she know you feel that way?

A friend of mine lost his wife last year and an old flame has come into his life. He is very excited about this new relationship, but his family is less enthusiastic about his new woman. Another man I know says that, when his wife dies (she isn’t even sick!), he will clap his hands together and say, “Next!” A gal who took care of her ailing hubby for ten years told me recently that “no one will ever replace Bob. I miss him every day, even though I had to do everything for him in the end.” Some friends of mine have a brother-in-law who started dating (officially, anyway) two weeks after his wife died of breast cancer. When that relationship soured, ┬áhe moved his new and younger ┬álove into the family home six months after his wife passed. When that woman went her own way, he took up with an even younger woman; his three teens are struggling with getting to know their father’s third girlfriend in two years.

How do you feel about this? What do you think is a reasonable amount of time to mourn the death of someone or the end of a relationship? I would love to get your insight into this.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

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